Some of the core skills leaders share and deepen at the Art of Leadership relate to feedback, courageous conversations, power intelligence and aligning around shared purpose. These powerful competencies might be easy to recognize in the flash of insight gained at a leadership retreat, but they’re truly cultivated through the rhythm of our everyday interactions—particularly in the regular 1:1 meetings managers have with their direct reports.

The humble 1:1 meeting, when approached with intention and presence, becomes a space where the art of leadership is practiced in real time: where listening deeply, showing up authentically, and wielding power with discernment transforms routine management into powerful opportunities for trust, alignment, feedback, and growth.

But let’s be honest: when was the last time one of your 1:1s left you and your direct report feeling energized, aligned, and as though your time was well-spent?

If you’re like many managers, your 1:1 meetings might be drifting into low-lift territory: project updates, surface-level check-ins, or polite conversations that don’t go much deeper than what’s already in your regular project tracking systems.

If you’re newer to managing, you might know these meetings matter — but still feel unsure how to make them count, especially when you’re drinking from the fire-hose of day-to-day demands.

Growth, Not Just Updates

Let’s start here: most organizational effectiveness experts agree that 1:1s should NOT be used primarily (or at all) for project status updates.

Why?

Because status updates are often one-directional, and easily handled elsewhere: shared documents, project management platforms, weekly team meetings, even a simple email.

What 1:1s are uniquely suited for is everything that gets lost in the rush:

• Unspoken concerns and tensions
• Coaching and development
• Celebrating wins and surfacing blocks
• Asking for — and receiving — real feedback

Power Is Always in the Room

No matter how approachable, friendly and well-intentioned you feel inside, if you’re someone’s manager, you hold positional power.  You likely hold social power, too, based on your seniority, experience, relationships, tenure, and possibly other social identities like gender, race or class.

It is possible, even likely, that your direct report is constantly ‘reading the room’ – wondering what’s safe, or wise, to say; deciding what to hold back, and how to carefully frame what is offered.

It also means we can’t expect honest feedback to flow naturally — or assume that saying “my door is always open” is enough.  It’s not.  

This isn’t about personalities, it’s about formal rank and power, and it is always in the room.  When you’re a manager, you can leverage that power through the design of structures and processes, a growth mindset, and modelling norms and behaviours. If you want feedback from your team, especially the kind that helps you grow, you need to ask for it — and make it safe to give.

Examples:

“What’s one thing I could do differently to better support you?”
“Where might I be unintentionally making your job harder?”
“What feedback have I given that hasn’t landed well?”

And when it comes? Receive it with curiosity and grace — not defensiveness. Your response, both in the moment and over the longer term, teaches people whether it’s safe and worthwhile to be honest with you again.

Small Shifts, Big Impact

Reclaiming your 1:1s doesn’t mean starting from scratch. A few small shifts can have a big impact:

Start with POP

When you, or you and your report, are designing the agenda, use a simple structure to align around shared goals, like POP:

• Purpose – What is this meeting really for?
• Outcomes – What would make it useful today?
• Process – How will we spend our time?

Flip the Script

Let your report lead the agenda. Ask them to bring what’s most important — not just what they think you want to hear. Be sure to track airtime; you should be speaking no more than 50% of the time -ideally less.

Ask Better Questions

Leave room for reflection, insight, and growth. The questions you ask — and revisit — signal what matters, and help surface deeper themes over time:

• “Where do you feel stuck right now?”
• “What’s one way you’d like to stretch this month?”
• “What feedback would be most useful for you right now?”
• “Where do you see an opportunity to improve how we approach Project X?”
• “Last month you mentioned wanting to delegate more — how’s that been going?”
• “You raised a concern about meeting overload — have things shifted at all since then?”
• “Is there anything we’re not talking about that you think we should be?”

You don’t need to track every thread — but circling back to goals or concerns shows you’re listening, and that these conversations matter. A simple shared doc or a few notes jotted down between meetings can help keep momentum going without over-engineering the process.

The Deeper Why

Done well, 1:1s are more than just meetings. They’re microcosms of the culture you’re trying to build — spaces where power is used with care, where growth is supported, and where trust is earned over time. And those are the kinds of workplaces that can attract and retain top talent and produce transformational results.